Women Who Travel: cultures collide over the internet

May 5

I put a post on the Conde Nast Facebook group called ‘Women Who Travel’ (which has over 120,000 followers) asking if anyone had a question for any woman in the world, what would it be. I attached a photo of a couple of women from the local Maasai Cultural Centre which we take guests to to learn and exchange cultures with the women who work there. I got nearly 300 questions! You can read the replies I wrote from the two Maasai ladies I interviewed here..

I spoke to the wife of the chief of the village. She has a mobile phone of her own and, to be culturally respectful, she was the person to ask these questions to. I had her answers translated by her niece, who was staying in the village while schools are shut due to Coronavirus. Mama Chief only spoke KiMaa (the tribal language of the Maasai tribe) not even KiSwahili. Her niece translated from KiMaa to English for me.

Mama Chief (MC) is 56 years old (honestly I thought she was about 25! Such beautiful skin!). She has lived in her village since she was married and has never left Kenya. She was very happy to hear everyone’s questions and I told her that the questions had come from all over the world… And that there was a lot to ask. She said she didn’t mind. I got a lot of input from her niece, Roselynne (R), who is 18. She is at a school about 20kms away from the village. She is a boarder at the school and so is usually at school at this time, but was in the village since Coronavirus means the schools are shut. She, too, was happy to learn more about the kind of questions you had asked and asked me many, many more! She has also lived in the village her whole life, but has traveled more due to going to school. Her school also has a primary school attached, where her brothers and sisters attend. They are not boarders and walk the 16kms everyday there and back. Some of them are as young as 8! She said ‘now you know why we have Kipchoge! (Eliud Kipchoge is the first person in the world to run a sub-two hour marathon and also from Kenya!).

I added some photos from previous visits to the Community Centre below too…

Penny Frederikson: How did you meet your husband? How old were you when you got married?

MC: I was 15 when I was married and I met him through my parents [as it was an arranged marriage]. My husband now has two more wives and I have 7 children. At my wedding I wore my jewelery and a new dress [red is a common colour for weddings]. We ate a goat and sang a lot of songs to celebrate.

Ioana Petras: Why do women wear their earlobes long and how do they make them like that and why? Do some women remove their front tooth and why?

[I couldn’t explain the tooth thing but the earlobes is a traditional way of life - I believe (although I totally stand corrected if wrong) but children, women and men all go through some sort of initiation that involves cutting of the body. It is discussed more below…]

Lori Larson: Are you happy? Have you achieved your soul’s calling?

MC: I am happy.

R: [They didn’t seem to know what a ‘calling’ was but Roselynne said this…] I am happy too. I love going to school and being with my friends. One day I want to go to university and study to meet people and look after my family. [I asked what made her unhappy] I am unhappy when the rains come so badly and the roads and houses are washed away and I am unable to get to school. Also Coronavirus now is making me unhappy as school is closed and so is the Cultural Centre so no guests are coming to visit and learn about our culture.

Sarah Jane: How do you feel about people coming into your village and dressing in your clothes? Is it respectful or is it inappropriate?

R: I like it when people visit our Cultural Centre [we do not take guests to villages, rather the guests and the women meet in a purpose-built Cultural Centre where guests can sit and meet and share ideas so it is more of a cultural exchange rather than an imposition] as I have met people from all over the world that I would not have met otherwise. The money that comes from the centre also is used by the community to help us, for example to pay for our studies. Wearing our jewellery is important as the women make it and when tourists buy it the money helps us to buy things or pay school fees.

Jennifer Kostel: What is the best part of your culture? How do you feel when people visit? Has a tourist ever done anything to make you laugh?

MC: The best part of my village is my people. The community is important and we support each other and make each other laugh a lot.

R: Tourists make us laugh a lot. They are always on their phones and also sometimes they cry when we slaughter a goat for our meal. But we like meeting new people and learning about their homes and cultures which sound very different from ours.

Mivra: are youth leaving the villages to go to the big towns? How does that make you feel?

MC: In my youth, people stayed in the village and didn’t leave. Now most of the young people leave and do not come back. This is sad for us as a community as we wish our children would stay to look after us but also we understand that there are opportunities in the cities too.

R: Most of my friends plan to leave to Nairobi after school. I want to go to university but then return to the village so I can help my community to improve the lives of my family and help the younger children go to school too.

Marita Jenadri: What is the difference between your life, the life of your daughter and the life of your mother?

MC: I did not go to school and now all my children have gone to school [she said this in a very proud voice!].

R: School is the most important change to be seen and this is the way we can improve our lives.

Kari Nguyen: Where would you like to live and why?

MC/R: [they didn’t really know the answer! One of the men listening to this part of the questions said ‘Manchester United!... So Manchester?!] We came back to this question later because one of Roselynne’s sisters said she would like to go to California to meet her friends ‘from before’ [I think she was referring to a group of our guests that visited the camp this year who lived in LA.

Maria Peschke: What are your hopes and dreams for Africa (Hi from South Africa!)

R: I hope Kenya can become less corrupt so that we can get better schools for everyone. Hi back!

Paulina Pow: How do you feel about people coming who do not understand your culture and being a tourist attraction?

MC: I am happy that I can work in a place where I can meet new people and share my culture. I am not an attraction but I work in tourism. [R added ‘there is a difference between the two.’] No one knows everything so we are here on Earth to learn.

Colette Onyana: How do you feel about people showing the worst of Africa rather than a diverse place? Do you mind when people take photos of you?

R: Africa is not one place, it is made up of many countries and even in Kenya we have 52 tribes with their own language, dress, cultures and people. People are welcome to take photos with us to help them show their families back home who we are and what a nice country Kenya is!

Note from Moon: Rather than 'taking pictures' we take our guests to a community-run project where women come from local villages to meet our guests. The project has a entrance fee which is paid by each guest and they money is put into an account as used by the community as they want. The project is in place to help facilitate meetings between cultures and to help people learn about each other. From my point of view, for a while I felt very uncomfortable about the idea of it being a touristy experience (like you say it can become exploiting very quickly...) however the money from these meetings funds a number of projects that the community lead and need, but also on a personal note - I went to visit a tea ceremony in Japan once at a local Japanese woman's home. I took photos, paid for the experience and left feeling wiser about Japanese culture. So I hope these kind of experience can be spread here too.

Gigi Moll: what are these fabrics and where can I buy them for business?

MC: These fabrics are called kanga [kanga comes in many colours but Maasai favour red. The kanga often have proverbs on them - a classic Kenyan proverb is ‘haraka haraka haina baraka’ which translates roughly as ‘haste makes waste’ or ‘hurry, hurry has no blessings!’ and we wear them daily. We also wear shuka [shukas are more often wore by men and resemble tartan]. We buy them in our local markets.

Shannon Martin: What is your biggest hope/fear for your children?

MC: I hope that my children will live outside the village as there is no opportunities here. In my day, we were nomadic and moved our boma [a group of houses that make up a village, traditionally made of hay and mud but now more often include a tin roof or plastic items] and all our animals to areas with more grass with the seasons. This meant I could not get an education. Now all my children have been to school and they will not marry young as I did.

Miriam: What do you try to pass on to outsiders who visit your Cultural Centre?

R: We always laugh about how many of the guests do not know much about living as we do. No one can start a fire! Not even with matches [lots of laughing here!]. Guests also have little knowledge about plants and trees and many will not even try out traditional medicines for their sicknesses [I think this refers to a guests that visited who had a migraine and the women made her a medicine from boiled roots from a tree but she didn’t want to drink it]. We are skilled in medicine from the surroundings and are very healthy people. We live a long time and there are many mzee [old men] in our village who are over 100 and one man who is 120 years old.

Janhavi: where can I buy jewellery like yours?

MC: All our beaded jewellery is made by hand in our community by the women. We make it for ourselves and our husbands to wear. The jewellery means different things and you are only allowed to wear items when you are a certain age. We sell all these types of beaded things at the Cultural Centre for our guests to buy. The money is kept by the women to use for school fees and other uses.

Sigriour: what would you like to tell women from all around the world? What do you wish you could change about Kenya?

MC: I would like to welcome your friends from the internet to come and visit our Cultural Centre and learn about our culture.

Novie: what do the colours you wear mean?

MC: We wear red and other bright colours and they bring good spirits and are lucky for us. The red also is for the red soil of our home. [My husband told me this story, which I think is as much folklore as it is history so please don’t quote me on it! - Maasai tribes were always feared as the most fierce tribe and known for their valour and strength. They used blood and red soil mixed with animal fat to make a paint for their faces. During Colonial times, the British feared the Maasai because of their warrior culture and used the tribe to fight for them (against other tribes) in return for land - this is why the Maasai tribe is the most famous out the 42 tribes in Kenya. At some point, a Scottish man interacted with the Maasai tribes and gave them some tartan which is how the Maasai started to wear the tartan-like materials.]

Jessica Crist: how many children do you have? Do you wish you had more or less children?

MC: I have 7 children and I am one of 11 children from my mother. My husband has 14 children as I am one of 3 wives. In my culture it is important to have a lot of children but I do not want more children as birth is very painful and hard and I have had all my children in my house [her house is small, with two bedroom and a shared area with an open stove for heating water for tea. The house is made of mud and the beds are made of sticks and cowhide] and having children can be dangerous for the woman.

R: I do not want to have a lot of children and I will have my children in a hospital and not in my home. I will not have children until I am married which I do not want to do until after I have my university degree.

Casa de vovo: How do you name your children?

R: We have a family name which all the children take. We also give first names to the children. They also get a Christian name too. My Christian name is Roselynne and my Maasai name is … [I couldn’t spell it sorry!!]

Jo Hanna: What are your thoughts on FGM?

MC: We do not like it and it is illegal in Kenya. [I couldn’t get a lot out of them on the phone regarding this topic as it is a sensitive one and I have only spoken about it in the past with women (as I was also super interested in it too) in person later in the night after lots of chatting and sharing. What I can offer from past conversations is that the older woman have mostly been cut (never specified how - FGM has a number of ‘stages’) and that it was painful, and by a witch doctor and with a razor. However, younger generations oppose it strongly and the fact that it is illegal in Kenya makes it a lot harder to perform and it is a dying tradition. I can’t comment on how true this is country-wide or if all women feel like this, this was just one opinion.]

Christine: what are your most important values?

MC: we value strength as there are many hardships in our lives. We also value family and community as we protect ourselves and we look after each other. Our men protect our homes and livestock which is our wealth and if we lose these animals we have nothing.

Barbara Forester: where do you like to travel to? And is there anywhere that is meaningful to you?

MC: I would like to travel to my family boma [home/village/group of houses] where I grew up as it is far and I felt when I was married to my husband.

Rita Marle: do you have a penpal? Would you like one?

R: [she didn’t really know what it was but I explained that people from across the world can email and learn about each other's lives without meeting and Roselynne loved the idea. We should set it up!]

Lara: Are you happy with your life?

MC: I am happy. I have my home and my family and my community. I enjoy meeting new people through the Cultural Centre and earning money from selling my beading. [It is not really in Kenyan culture to complain so this question was not likely to get an honest answer… not that this isn’t honest!]

Salina Perth: do you have superstitions in your culture?

R: We have so many! [this question was the best! R didn’t know what the word meant and I spent so long trying to explain it! In the end, I knew of one from before - that if an owl lands on your roof it means someone inside is going to die. Lots of owls are killed because of this..]

Mathilde: How do you ask for forgiveness? Who was your first love? What is your favourite animal?

R: my favourite animal is my dog [I found this surprising as dogs are usually feared in Kenya as most dogs are guard dogs and quite viscous. I asked her if she liked lions, giraffe, ect. And she wasn’t that bothered by them (maybe it is just like seeing a pigeon for Westerners?! Regarding forgiveness - we didn’t get onto that subject but my input is that forgiveness and apologising is a very Western culture thing. In most tribal languages there is not a word for ‘thank you’ and things just get done and reciprocated later on rather than it being a nice thing that someone has done. As a Westerner I found it hard at the beginning when I would give someone or do something for someone and not get a thank you as I found this rude, but actually I was projecting my ideals onto a different society and that is not the right thing to do. This is just my perspective and i am sure there are lots of people who will disagree and am keen to learn…!]

Wendy Smith: what is one modern convenience you wish you had in your home?

MC: We have solar power so that we can charge our phones but often the men use it all day and so I wish we had another solar charger for the women only! [sorry Wendy, I wimped out a bit on this one… Mama Chief lives in a hut made of mud with no power, a fire burns inside her home for making hot water which makes it very smokey and there is no bathroom (only squatting in the bush) so there is probably quite a lot she would like given the offer!]

Meenoy: what do you find attractive in a man?

[Lots and lots of laughing!]

MC: In my youth a man was very attractive when he became a moran [moving from boyhood into adulthood in a ceremony. I asked her to explain why…] When a boy undergoes the ceremony to become a man he undergoes many tests including living out in the bush for several weeks with no help for food, water or from wild animals, also in the past a boy would have to kill a lion to prove his manliness [R interjects that this is not the case anymore as lions are protected]. Boys also undergo circumcision ceremonies. [we didn’t discuss what this means as it is not culturally appropriate for women to discuss but from discussions with men I know that the ceremony is when the boys are circumcised - their foreskin is cut using a blade or razor. Often, boys lie down and milk is dropped onto their closed eyes. If the milk falls or is spilled during the cutting process (remember no anesthetic!) the boy has shown weakness and may be expelled from the tribe.]

Jenn: what does modern society lack that you have in your village?

MC: when people from our tribe go to Nairobi they say that they feel lost and that they have no community anymore. Our sense of community is the most important thing in our village.

Kathleen: What inspires you to be strong?

[Sorry Kathleen I left out the ‘internally’ bit because it was hard to explain but the answer is still interesting I hope…] I am a strong woman in my community and since my husband is the chief many women look to me for advice or help. I have spoken to many women in my community about problems they face so they think of me as strong. [R agrees with this and says MC is very strong.]

Deborah Banks: how do you feel about people asking you questions about your life?

R: We don’t mind as our job is to look after people from all over the world and I especially like meeting so many people. The money we make in the Cultural Centre allows us to send our children to school. We keep the money on MPESA [M-PESA is an amazing Kenyan invention which allows money to be sent through mobile phones using a phone number - I believe it is like Vemno (I have never used Venmo) but does not need the internet or an app so even those using a ‘old school’ phone can still have their own way of storing money in an account.] and it means the money belongs to us and not our husbands or fathers.

Marion Cherry: what decisions does Mama Chief do in the village?

MC: I talk a lot to the other women in the village and make decisions for the running of the village. I also have an important job in the Cultural Centre which allows me to earn money for my community.

Deb Nocon: I think your question is answered above?

Laura Lewon: what can a person do to show respect?

R: to show respect to a chief or elder in our village all the children and women bow their head slightly and offer the top of their head to the elder. He touches it as a sign of receiving the respect and to give a blessing. To a woman you can show respect by complimenting her on her tea, which you will always be offered as a guest.

Christine Keller: do you have any rights of passage?

MC: We have so many of these and tradition is very important to us. [we already spoke about a man’s right of passage … see above in discussion regarding morans]. Children are given responsibility at a young age and boys are tasked to look after the small goats and sheep from the age of about 4. Young girls help their mothers by picking up firewood and collecting water. Marriage is an important rite of passage for women.

Nyambura Chebet: what can we learn from you to live in a world after Coronavirus?

[Lots of laughing…]

R: wash our hands more?!

Katye Thomas: what does motherhood and giving birth look like in your community?

MC: I have had all my children here in my house, it was painful but my sisters and the other women in my community helped me [MC also referred to a woman who sounded like a witch doctor / midwife type lady who also attended her births]. We do a lot of moving, dancing, chanting and singing to help with the pain. In the past, we had so many children as lots died. [I mentioned the phrase ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and they laughed a lot as the idea that women raised children alone was totally unheard of! Children eat, sleep and are disciplined by any member of the community, whether they are your own child].

Marisa Daniela: how do you feel about a white person owning a business near your land?

R: Any business that brings in money to our community is a good one. Also, businesses can give our people jobs so we can make money and see more of the world [our safari camp only employs people from the local villages] and meet more people. [I asked more about the land which the camp is on - it is a private conservancy of nearly 50,000 acres which purpose is for the protection of the land and wildlife, over the needs of the people that live on the boundaries…] We have many animals and we need land and grass for them to eat so the land should be open for all to use. [this would have led into a discussion about conservation of landscapes and how communities need to be involved and have a stake in the future of their lands, but I didn’t have enough time… Sorry! But it is a really good question and something I would have liked to have discussed more.]

Cathy Gilabert: what do you do for fun?

MC: I love to dance and sing, I also enjoy beading with my friends in the village - we talk and sing and make jewellery to wear and sell.

R: I like to play music on my phone and talk to my friends [R laughed when I told her she was such a typical teenager!]

Erica Taylor - do you know about Coronavirus and how do you get your news?

[I changed Erica’s question a bit as in your question you asked if the community are in lockdown all the time - but in fact the villagers get visitors from family members who live in Nairobi, they go to town to go shopping or visit a hospital, they have parties and celebrations and nearly everyone under the age of 25 has a mobile phone - likely a smart phone with Facebook on it!]

R: I read about Coronavirus on the news and heard about it from Uhuru (president of Kenya). I see people around the world are dying from this disease from Facebook.

Meredith Korn: how do you choose what clothes to wear? Does your jewellery have significance?

MC: Maasai choose the colour red as it is lucky and significant to us. Women’s beads mean different things and married women and single girls wear different things.

[Meredith, I think mostly women only have one ‘outfit’ so they mostly wear the same things every day.]

Eliana: What is your favourite food and what do you eat for a celebration?

R: my favourite food is MEAT! We love to eat goat the most. On a celebration like a wedding we kill a goat [by strangulation - a knee over the windpipe until the animal is dead] and then skin the animal and butcher the meat and put skewers in the ground over a fire to roast. We also drink the blood of the animal, either from the body [either when it is dead, or if the animal is alive a herder is often known to cut an artery and drink the blood as a thirst quencher!] or from a mug. Another drink we have is cow’s milk, mixed with ash and cow’s urine to keep it from curdling and so we can drink it for a longer time [Eliana - I have tried both. Personal opinion, I would take the milk/ash/urine mix over the blood anyday!]

Alicia Brodersen: Alicia - I think this has been answered above. I hope so if not send me a message for more info :)

Amanda Be: what is a message you have for the world about your home?

R: Kenya is a safe place that you should all visit… And then invite me to come to your home too!

Kristina Johnson - I hope your question has been answered above too? I would be happy to answer more if you like.

Jessie Hardy - what are your biggest challenges?

[Jessie - i sort of pushed this conversation towards a topic that hadn’t been covered already - I hope you don’t mind…]

R: In Maasai culture, we count value in our livestock. A very rich Maasai man can be a USD millionaire because he can own several thousand cattle and sheep. But this many animals can be hard to keep alive when water and grass is not plentiful. I have learnt about climate change at university and I know Kenya feels the effect. Our lands have no trees any more and animals die from thirst if the rains are late or fail.

Karen Dixon - I think you question is answered above regarding the fabrics?

Erika Swanner - what language do you speak?

R: I speak Kiswahili, Maa and English but my Aunt (MC) only speaks Kimaa.

Alison Lausten: Why do you use the ochre in your hair?

Ochre is added to the hair and face at traditional holidays or celebrations. [sorry.. I couldn’t really understand why apart from that it is just tradition.]

Smoh Imam - how do you see the world that is different from yours?

MC: I heard that in America everyone eats meat every day…. Is that true? [I said yes!]

Sarah Felt - what is your favourite memory of growing up?

R: I remember being with my family, signing, making up games - sometimes we would bang pots together to scare off wild animals like elephants.

Jacquline Philips: I am interested to learn how women deal with periods.

I have spoken about this with women in the past but not on this phone call as it would be too difficult and culturally insensitive to ask but here are my comments from another discussion: Periods are extremely difficult and hardly discussed - women do not have access to sanitary pads and tampons are very taboo. Girls usually miss school once their period starts. Usually women and girls keep out of sight and generally hide away when their period comes. I believe (although I was never told specifically) that women use old material and then wash it before the next month. With no access to a bathroom, running water or sanitary items, I do not believe it is a pleasant experience.)

Lynne Johnson - what does a typical day look like?

MC: We wake up at dawn, make tea on the fire and then the men tend to the animals to make sure they find grass and water. We women wash clothes, collect firewood, collect water.

Savvy Porter - I hope your question has been answered above?

Andy Arrieta - what roles do women have in your society?

MC - I as the wife of the chief have the role of looking after my village and community. Many questions are asked of me so I spend time talking to the women. I also have an important role in working in the Cultural Centre meeting and welcoming tourists from across the world.

Christine Rochat - would you have preferred to have been born a man?

[lots of laughing! I couldn’t get an answer as they were laughing too much! But I think the answer was no as the sense of ‘sisterhood’ is so strong and men don’t have that.]

Katy Carrerio - I hope this question has been answered above?

Robina Francis - Do you have a role model in your lives?

R: my role models are the women I have met from around the world. I want to travel and meet people and learn more about them. I can tell people about my culture and how we live. My role model is also my mother who is very hardworking.

Melinie Gauss - I hope your question has been answered above and also by Collete Onaya on the Facebook page :)

Sydney Sveilson - I hope your question has been answered above?

Cassandra Ott - I hope your question has been answered above? Is there any food you would like to try?

R: I heard that in other countries they do not eat ugali and that food is expensive? [ugali is a staple of Kenyan cuisine and is a maize flour cake-like thing. Google it as it is hard to explain! I told her how avocados are expensive in England and she was shocked!]

Sara Carrilho & Terri Arment - what makes a good life partner?

MC: Someone who gives you lots of children and looks after your home.

R: My answer is different as I want more that this in my husband. I want someone who loves me and can buy me the things I need and also be proud of my education and want to learn like I do.

Sara Mirabito - I hope your question has been answered above?

Lisa Fisher - how do you fight for equal rights in your community?

R: I make sure to work twice as hard as the men who are my age so that I can be seen as a hard worker and someone that will do well. [my input is that in Kenya women are taking seriously and are seen to be great workers and seen as change makers in their society.]

Ursula Milani - I hope your question has been answered above?

Alyssa Hart - I hope your question has been answered above?

Kelli Garwood - what do you like the most in the world?

R & MC: Meat! [Kelli, it was a good question but I found it really hard to explain what it meant… Meat is saved for special occasions as animals are the most important form of wealth in a Maasai community so eating a goat is like eating your money!]

Mary Paulsen - I hope your question has been answered above?